Imperfections

Hello people! 

I was watching Coach Carter the other day and there was this scene where the coach kept asking his student “what is your deepest fear?” 

“Is it the fear of being inadequate?” 

‘The fear of being inadequate’ 

Or in simpler words- Not being good enough. 

When you’re just starting out your life and when you know that it’s your time to work hard and start building your name and a life for yourself, there is often this massive cloud of self doubt that keeps coming up. Do you ever go through that? I often think - “I really want to do this, but do I have the talent for it?” 

I am trying my best, but is my best good enough? What if it isn’t? Will I be a good enough daughter? Will I be a good enough friend? Will I be a good enough sister? Will I be a good enough partner? 

We often find ourselves looking for perfection in every aspect of life - be it, our careers, our partners, our kids, our life basically. I know perfection is an illusion and there is no point running behind it but then, why are we so unforgiving towards the things that are imperfect? I grew up trying so hard to be perfect but was quick to realize, when people want to see flaws, they’re just going to see flaws and there’s nothing you can do about it. Sometimes, you know everything practically. You know all the philosophies, you know what you should be thinking, but, you don't know how to exercise it. I won't be able to get into details of where my fear stems from, but the reason why i am writing about this is because, some of the people i am closest to are feeling like they aren't enough and it hurts to see, when a good soul, who has only tried their best, feel like they weren’t enough. 

So, here is a list of things that we love, simply because they’re imperfect. 

1. A slightly burnt piece of toast - it is tastier.  

2. Deep belly laughs - it’s contagious and quite honestly, has the capacity of turning the most mundane moments into something so beautiful. 

3. Silver strands of hair mixed in with your existing hair color. - it’s hard to describe it, but everytime I see someone with a hint of silver hair, I can't help but keep looking. It makes me wonder; the number of stories they must have, the experiences they must have had because with every year that you age, you have 365 days worth of new content to share. That shit is amazing! 

4. A stack of old books that you’ve read a billion times- you know you absolutely love something when you never want to let it go. That is your safe space and that is your comfortable escape. 

5. When people’s eyes crinkle everytime they smile - do you notice that? The way the skin folds and once they relax their face there are these lines. Absolutely wonderful! 

6. The way your home smells - every place has a scent. You notice it when you’ve been away for a while and return. The familiarity that simple scent brings is so wonderful. 

7. Nature - if you’ve noticed, most of the time, nature is asymmetrical. The waves, the sunset and just the way light has been dispersed, the clouds and how different every cloud is, the mountains and how every crevice and every part of it that has been withered away by the wind is different and there’s absolutely no uniformity and basically, everything about it. 

I genuinely wish I had this magic formula of what to do when you feel inadequate because truth be told, I deal with that fear everyday and am hoping there comes a day when we all very confidently say - 

I am enough, simply because I am 

I am worth it, simply because I am. 

So, all I am trying to say is, the most wonderful things in life are imperfect. Accept yourself because you’re wonderful and give yourself time, you’ll heal.