Revelations

 Helloooo lovely people! Just wanted to hop in and say 

- you is beautiful 

- you is strong 

- you is smart 

- you is enough 

- you is you 🤩

- you deserve love and happiness always! 

 

Remember that! Also, if you need some more words of affirmation, just hit me up. I'll be your hype woman. 

Ever think about how to make a person feel loved? My friend Shez/caniney introduced me to this concept of love languages a few years ago. 

If you haven't guessed yet, the people in my life are big on saying what you feel, showing how you feel and making it loud and making it a love fest. 

So, this is what she explained- apparently there are 5 types of love languages and it basically means, things that people do that make you feel loved or, things that you do to show people love. I often get confused. But, it's either of the two. These are the love languages - 

1) words of affirmation 

2) quality time 

3) physical touch 

4) acts of service 

5) giving gifts 

My friends and I did a test to figure out what our love languages are and guess what, you don't have to wait to be in a relationship to exercise these, learn how to make your friends and family feel loved as well. And I've been lucky enough to find people who do it for me on a regular basis. So say your I love yous, i miss yous, give hugs and kisses and just show you love them. Sometimes people need it. 

The environment at home is slightly chummy because my sister is getting married soon. And, they aren't movie romantics they're real life romantics and what is so fun and beautiful to watch is that, they feel so safe in each other's company. I have literally never seen someone take care of my sister the way her fiancé does. So when we saw that, we could all agree, she's in safe hands. Don't get me wrong, she is perfectly capable of taking care of herself but sometimes all a person needs is a shoulder to rest your head on when life is tough and I'm so happy she found hers. 

My sister and her fiancé should be ambassadors of the saying "it's the little things that matter". 

Here are some ways you can show you care - 

1) I bought you ice cream 

2) let's go for a walk 

3) let's meet up and do nothing 

4) let's cook together 

5) this dish is really bad but I love your efforts 

6) I saved you the last bite 

7) I can't buy this right now, but one day I will

8) I'm sorry my actions made you feel a certain way, that was never my intention

We were having this intense conversation about how transient everything has become. I was actually pretty vocal about this. Last year, I was trying to convince my father that marriage isn't necessary because let's face it, there are more fucked up marriages than healthy ones out there. So why put yourself through that kind of misery. I was pretty dead set on this until... 

There's a couple in our old society back home. They've been married for fifty something years and the wife was diagnosed with Alzhiemers. Her husband's biggest fear right now is "what will I do if she forgets me?" 

That simple question made me so emotional. Mostly because I grew up looking at them. They were two highly intelligent, successful, tough and independent people who worked their asses off to send their three daughters abroad. So to watch someone who has lived life like they have be so helpless scares you a little bit. 

My parents are growing old now, and it hits me from time to time because I am away and am no longer taking care of them the way I used to. They only have each other to count on. 

So sometimes I wonder, you have to trust someone to help you survive later on. How on earth are you going to do that?

As a generation that has concocted a system catering to convenience, have we forgotten what truly matters?

 Have we devised a self sabotaging way of living that is going to cause a lot of loneliness in our lives?

 These questions scare me so I prefer not to think about it and cross that bridge when it comes but on a serious note.. 

From what I've noticed, we all are hoping to feel safe somewhere. Just have a hint of calm in our lives so if you can make someone feel that way, I would highly suggest, make that effort. Do it for strangers as well. Make it weird. Everywhere I look I see so many people so engulfed in their own rat race and phones we tend to forget what truly matters. You might end up creeping some people out along the way but they'll get used to you. 

If you have the time to listen, just listen. 

Go out on walks. 

Share comfortable silences. 

Eat good food. 

If someone is doing something that makes you uncomfortable, just say it. 

Seriously peeps, communicate. I am not the best communicator in the world because we didn't do much of that growing up. Talking about feelings wasn't deemed necessary. I am learning the importance it has and honestly trying to get better because, just by talking about things, you can actually make things better. How cool is that! 

Be humans. It's fun!

P.s. Sending you virtual hugs, always 💖