Humans Being Humans

 Hello you adorable monkey! 

Don’t ask me why I just called you a monkey, but I mean, aren’t we all monkeys? I am sitting at Starbucks right now, eating a terrible wrap on a beautiful day, watching my data analytics lecture and there is a family sitting next to me. The mom is kissing her son and it got me thinking. 

If I said - what does it mean to be human? What would you say? When I think about that question, I think about people with a lot of emotions and kindness. Then it got me thinking, why are tough people who are super in control of their emotions considered strong? Why is vulnerability considered weak? Why are sensitive people asked to toughen up and why is the world unkind to them? Why are humans asked to control their humanity? 

I came across this quote - People don’t realize the violence I had to go through to be soft. 

That shit hit me. It took me back to the person I was a few years ago, the person who didn’t cry, who said the harshest things in arguments to show power, the person who was utterly closed off and quite honestly- A Bitch. After a year of therapy and constant healing, self introspection and fights with myself I finally realized, the easiest thing you can do is shut yourself off, yell and ignore your feelings, it takes a lot of courage to be soft in this harsh world. 

Trauma has a funny way of dictating how you live life. Sometimes you come out of it stronger than ever, sometimes you come out of it with a lot of newly developed fears and sometimes- you just haven’t dealt with it. It’s sitting under a rug collecting dust. Either way, it’s fine. No one can tell you how you should be healing and how you should be living your life but I have learnt two things. 

1. There’s nothing wrong with being sensitive, crying when you need to and being someone who feels deeply. You are taking the tougher route and it’s amazing! 

2. I read this somewhere and completely stand by it- if you don’t heal from people who hurt you, you bleed on people who didn’t. 

You would think I have a definite point I want to make, but I am simply overthinking on my laptop. 

I guess trauma is beautiful. It helps you build yourself as a person, shows you what you’re capable of and makes you feel human. So, if you’re going through something right now and are in the process of healing, id like to say, you’re doing great! There’s nothing you can’t handle and you’ll see the beauty in everything one day so keep going you adorable monkey. 

The sun will always shine bright 

Giving you a warm hug 

You’ll eat ice cream 

And enjoy the happiness in the simplest things in life. 

Always sending magical vibes to you from winterfell