Didn't Ride Men, Didn't Ride Waves Either

 

Do you ever sit and fantasize about your trip before you travel? One of my biggest fantasies was - catching a wave, looking undeniably gorgeous and cool in a wet suit. I'd have pictures that I'd post with the caption 'catch waves not feelings'.

Evidently, none of that happened! So carry on readers as I make fun of myself and hopefully make you laugh and make your day better. 😉 

We arrived at the Surf camp and it looked like a Surf camp. Insanely fit human beings with long hair and a beard. Surfboards and sand everywhere, random balance games happening, and bikinis.

I never knew I'd be afraid of a bikini. But, apparently, I am. Before going to Australia I was desperately looking for a nice bikini I could wear and be comfortable in but I didn't find one. I'm sure you're wondering why I am making such a big deal out of a bathing suit. Here's why. I grew up wearing modest swimming costumes (because there are many creepy people), with an ugly cap and uglier goggles to swim in. The idea was never to be confident in your own skin, tan, and look hot. It was to just go there and swim and avoid attention. Now, after years and years of body shaming and hiding your body, being seen in a bikini is like willingly displaying all your insecurities to the public. It's scary. Now I know people are going to be like "be more confident", "you're beautiful", "ignore that uncle who is looking at you" etc, but that doesn't make it easier. It builds pressure. You have to be toned, you have to be waxed, you can't have zits, you have to make sure the bottoms don't get stuck in your butt Crack, no nip slips, your boobs need support, you need to know self-defense, so on and so forth…

Yeah, I don't know when I'll be confident and comfortable enough to wear one in public so for now, a speedo dress-like swimming costume will suffice.

So if you're a woman who is confident enough to wear a bathing suit in public, you are my inspiration and I LOVE YOU. Trust me, you're winning in life. So own it and keep slaying. 💯

I was nervous, to begin with. Anything that has to do with sports makes me want to poo my pants. But, they said, you don't have to know how to swim in order to surf. In my head that gave me some confidence because I do actually swim well (at least I thought) and I'm decent at water sports (at least I thought). So what could go wrong?

Wet suit - I went to collect my wet suit. The guys working there looked at me for a few seconds and went directly to the KIDS section. I was the only one who got the kids' wet suit...  

Surfboard- I did do half a push-up once and carried some heavy groceries so I thought I'd be able to manage to carry some foam surfboards. Nope, that didn't happen. You know you desperately need to hit the gym when you can't even carry foam boards. In my defense, they were heavy. It was a long walk to the beach and my mosquito muscles kept giving up. But we made it. Safe and sound.

Training - our trainers were epic. I actually did manage to pay attention to the lesson instead of just staring at them. Somehow my disaster of a love life also managed to make its way into the lesson but that's okay. We figured out how to stand on the board and I could do everything on land well so I'd be able to do it in water as well (at least that's what I thought).

The water - I couldn't carry the board to the water. I had to drag it. My dreams of looking cool shattered even more. Somehow I managed to get it in the water and tried to get on the board. Which was supposedly the easy part. I couldn't get on the board. After repeatedly falling and swallowing A LOT of salt water I managed to get on it. Then I had to paddle. Now, this I could surprisingly do. But you have to turn the board when you see a wave coming. That I couldn't do. So I floated for a bit. Then I kept floating for a few more bits.

If you zoom in, you'll the struggle on my face 🥲🤭

When I saw my friends catching waves like pros I thought to myself, I'm not going to quit! So I gather all the motivation I could, gathered all my strength, looked at the wave, kept paddling, managed to turn, and then.......the wave just pushed me off the board and I think I swallowed like half of the wave. This kept happening for a VERY long time.

Soon after I just decided to chill on the board and keep floating. The water was cold and my hands froze so I had to get out of the water because I couldn't move them.

Getting out of the water was tough again, removing my wetsuit was also tough and so was surfing.

But honestly, I did have fun! I want to learn how to surf and I will someday. I'll just take a really long time because I've always been a slow learner. And, I will do it in warm weather. I just hope the next time I give it a go, I don’t have to wear a kids' wet suit.

I'm telling you, my 'cool surfer girl' fantasy did not come true this time, but one day it will. I will post a picture in a bikini carrying a surfboard. After actually having surfed successfully.

P.s. eeuuu 🤙🤙